Lil Jon is opening up about the last time he spoke to his son, Nathan Smith, before his death at 27.
The rapper and former HGTV star reflects on their final conversations in his upcoming memoir, “I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me.”
He originally thought the book was finished before Nathan died in February, but he later returned to the manuscript to write about his grief and the loss of his only son.
Lil Jon Opens Up About the Heartbreaking Loss
“I needed to share everything I was going through,” Lil Jon told PEOPLE. He added that the book is now dedicated to Nathan.
Nathan, who performed under the name DJ Young Slade, was pursuing a career in music as a DJ, producer and artist. In the memoir excerpt shared by the outlet, Lil Jon recalls that his son had been dealing with emotional difficulties and years of physical pain.
The father and son had discussed Nathan’s struggles during a phone call days before he disappeared.
Lil Jon said he had been encouraging Nathan to seek help and take care of himself, but later wondered whether his approach had made his son feel criticized rather than supported.
During their conversation, Nathan told his father he was working through his problems and asked him to recognize his efforts. Although they ended the call on good terms, Lil Jon felt that something remained unresolved.
Nathan later sent his father a message expressing his love and saying he wanted to communicate better. Lil Jon responded with reassurance, telling his son how talented he was and expressing hope that he would find relief from his pain.
After discussing the exchange with his therapist, Lil Jon decided to call Nathan and apologize. He wanted his son to know that he recognized the effort he was making.
That conversation became their last.
The following day, Lil Jon learned that Nathan was missing from his home in Milton, Georgia. He recalled the fear and uncertainty of waiting for news as authorities searched for his son. Nathan was found dead on Feb. 6. His death was later ruled an accidental drowning in the setting of psilocybin use.
Lil Jon said he never believed Nathan intended to die. In the memoir, he described his son as someone who was experiencing significant physical and emotional pain but still had plans for the future.
Nathan had been scheduled to attend therapy on the day he disappeared. According to Lil Jon, his son had also told a close friend that he was happy the two had resolved their disagreement.
Lil Jon Said the Book Has Helped Him With the Loss
The experience changed the way Lil Jon viewed their final exchange. He reflected on how important it was to acknowledge what Nathan was doing to improve his life rather than focusing only on what he had yet to accomplish.
The rapper said completing the book helped him process his grief and find a way to share what he had learned with others experiencing loss.
“Some people give up on life when they lose people,” he told the outlet, adding that he wanted to encourage others to keep living.
“I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me” is scheduled for release Oct. 20.
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Lil Jon Reveals Heartbreaking Final Conversation With Late Son Nathan