Though Hallmark Channel movies have often been parodied for tending to solve conflicts and hardships with relative ease (plus a little Christmas magic), one of the network’s most beloved stars knows firsthand that healing from trauma is complicated and ongoing, and she’s not afraid to talk about it.
Actress Nikki DeLoach has shared openly about her own tough stuff, from the three heart surgeries and continual monitoring her youngest son Bennett has endured since his birth to her grief over her dad’s death from a rare and aggressive form of dementia called Pick’s Disease. Now, DeLoach is speaking up about another hard topic, weeks after telling EntertainmentNow she is determined to use her voice for good now more than ever.
Case in point: on December 11, 2025, the “A Grand Ole Opry Christmas” star opened up on the“Books That Changed My Life” podcast about abuse she experienced growing up and how one book in particular has been instrumental in her healing journey.
Nikki DeLoach Says Books Helped Her Escape as a Child
DeLoach, who shares two young sons with her husband, Ryan Goodell, shared her story with “Books That Changed My Life” podcast host Chris Collins, explaining why Glennon Doyle’s 2020 book “Untamed” was so profound for her.
Reading when she was growing up, DeLoach told him, became an escape when she was trying to block out the abuse she endured as a young girl, noting that she read 300 books the year she was 11. The “Curious Caterer” star said she was always “imagining a way out of nowhere.”
“That’s what books gave me as a kid who went through abuse,” she said. “You know, I would lay on my trampoline and I would read, or in my bedroom. I was constantly reading and books allowed me to imagine a world outside of that, and I would just disappear into them.”
“There was physical abuse in my childhood,” she vulnerably told Collins, “but it was the sexual abuse that really, honestly, just made me want to disappear.”
Nikki DeLoach Says It Took ‘Years to Untangle’ the Psychological Impact of Abuse
GettyWhen DeLoach read “Untamed,” she was stunned by how much she related to the childhood experiences Doyle wrote about, explaining to Collins, “She talks about being 10 years old … and that’s when we’re taught what it looks like to be a good girl, right? At 10 years old is when this happened to me. And I was silenced and wasn’t allowed to actually say what happened to me.”
“Untamed” is about Doyle’s journey from “living to please others to embracing her authentic self” after facing her own hard truths, including facing the negative voices that began to creep into her psyche as a kid.
DeLoach told Collins that resonated because “at 10 years old, I was told that being a good girl was letting boys do anything to you, to letting adults do anything to you, and you just keeping your mouth shut. There’s something really powerful, in a negative way, that happens when you’re a kid and the adults that you trust for basically everything can’t be trusted.”
DeLoach said she felt “that my life was not worthy of protection. That there was something so deeply broken and unlovable about me that I didn’t deserve that, and that’s when the disordered eating started. Just like Glennon at 10 years old, she became a bulimic. For me, it was anorexia and I just began to disappear, because if I was small — that’s what I was being told: ‘Be small, don’t speak, look pretty.’ Nobody wants your opinion on anything.'”
“And man, did it take me decades to untangle that and to learn to love myself,” DeLoach shared. “And this book was such a huge part of me being able to do that.”
Nikki DeLoach Says She’s Going to Keep Speaking Up for the ‘Most Vulnerable’ in Society
In late November, DeLoach told EntertainmentNow that she’s becoming more vocal than ever about her hard experiences and her opinions on the state of the world, healing by using her voice — even if it means she might lose fans or social media followers.
“I don’t care if you unfollow me; I have got to speak up because it’s the right thing to do,” she said. “And if you are too concerned about people unfollowing you to step up and say the truth and to fight for humanity and to do the right thing? That’s absolutely not right.”
“I don’t believe in dehumanizing anyone,” DeLoach continued. “Even when you disagree with them, you stick to the issues. You fight for what’s right, you speak truth, and you fight for our most vulnerable. Because the measure of a good nation is how we take care of our most vulnerable, and we are failing.”
DeLoach said she’s concerned that the divisiveness that plays out every day on social media and in the news keeps people “from paying attention to what’s happening right in front of you, the real stuff.” She added, “We have to come together and fight for humanity, especially when it comes to something as important as (helping) our most vulnerable people in society … and if that means you want to follow me, then fine.”
Good for you and I am sorry you went through such bad things
Dear Nikki DeLoach,
I too was a victim of abuse. As a child from 10-14 it was Insist and physical and emotional abuse as long as I can remember until I turned 17 and moved out on my own. Coming from the childhood that I did I had no idea that it would help me follow through into a life of domestic abuse that ended when my abuser took the life of my infant.
I did actually, after 10 very hard years of self distruction finally meet a man who ended all the my thoughts about deserving that life. He was a stubborn man who with the help of counseling and medication I was able to understand and accept that I was not the one to blame and threw it all he still married me.
I may have been able to accept and slowly get over the emotional aspect but then I became the abuser to my daughter when she was 3. My husband had me back in counseling and even though our daughter was so young she went through her own counseling and then because of my actions, I went through years of her flinching every time I came near her. That, more than any of the abuse I went through (except the death of my infant daughter) was so devastating but then when I think about the abuse, even though it was twice, that made my daughter go through, that breaks my heart more!
My daughter just recently turned 34 and we talk about that horrible time in her life all the time, and even though she has accepted my apology, there are still times when she will flinch and my heart breaks all over again..
After 35 years of marriage, my husband still holds me when I cry telling me that I need to understand even though my abuse was horrific, there are so many kinds and so many levels of abuse, but abuse is abuse and I’m the one having to deal with my actions and let her take all the time she needs to understand and learn to accept it, if she ever does.
I so appreciate your outspoken candidacy about your abuse and with you being you, the beloved actress and and mother (sorry, not sure if there is a Mr.) that was brave and told your own story.
Thank you🌹
My sister=in=law and I went through the abuse Nikki talks about . My sister-in-law is 76 and has never gotten over it. I’m 81 and put it out of my mind years ago…until I read this article. It’s extremely painful to relive again, but Nikki’s right. If everyone speaks out maybe perpetrators will be punished !
Nikki…you are so brave to share your experience. With all the problems for young people on social media, your truth needs to be told. Thank you❤️❤️❤️
Nikki, I am Sorry that,you had to go through that situation as a child !! Thank you for sharing with your fans. My Prayers for you.
I’ve been told to write my story book as it could become a novel highlighting abuse in many forms, physical and mental. Im pushing 70 and I can tell you no matter how much thearapy one goes through it’s on you to grab yourself up n put you back together. Ask help from others you trust, but in the end ask for help from God.
I understand perfectly what you went through. I was adopted and went through the same thing both physical and sexual abuse. I wasn’t told I was adopted until my wedding day I was both sexually abused and physically abused most of my childhood who various Avenues. I can relate so much to what you went through. I’m in therapy now and old and I’ve been diagnosed PTSD but I’m really really happy someone like you can speak out for I’ve been hiding it a long time myself thank you, Ron