* “Survivor 51,” Episode 4 spoilers ahead! *
Jenna Doore‘s time on “Survivor 51” may not have lasted as long as she wanted it to, but it did help her come to an important realization following her recent divorce.
Jenna Started the Game ‘Emotionally Withdrawn’ Due to Her Divorce
Those who have been watching “Suvivor 51,” will know that, as Entertainment Weekly mentioned, “[r]ecently divorced, [Jenna] was having trouble opening up to the rest of her Toka tribe, which led some members to feel she was deceptively holding something back.”
Following Jenna’s exit during Episode 4, she spoke to Parade about what was going on, with Parade noting, “You said in the premiere that one of the reasons you were so emotionally withdrawn early on was because you had been going through a lot in terms of your recent divorce, and you didn’t want to tell anyone about that.”
She was then asked about the difference between her “headspace going into the game,” and how that changed by the end of her time on the show.
“Okay, can I tell you a quick story? This is one of the most meaningful things that happened to me, and that I will leave with for the rest of my life,” Jenna said. “So we’re on Savu beach, and we’re no longer talking. We’re about to go into Tribal Council, and I’m like, ‘Can I go down to the beach? It’s the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.’ And I go down the beach. I think everyone’s gonna follow me; nobody does.”
She continued by saying, “And so it’s just me sitting on the most gorgeous part of the beach where those the waves come together. And it is the first and only time in the game I have the active thought, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful here.’ And it is the first and only time in the game that I think about my family because I was too busy otherwise. And I was sitting out, and I was looking in the sunset. I was thinking of my mom. I knew she was thinking of me. This was my family’s dream too.”
Jenna Had a Realiztion When She Thought She Was Alone
Jenna told Parade that during her time on the beach, she closed her eyes and thought, “This is all a gift.”
She explained that she wasn’t thinking of the game, but was focused on what went into making her dream a reality. She recalled, “I was thinking of all the years and every single thing that went into me chasing this dream and all of the experiences I got to have because of that. Like flying to Arizona and surprising my mom when I found out that I was on the show, things like that.”
When she opened her eyes, she was crying and a camera was there filming her. She told Parade, “I’m like, ‘Guys, I’m giving I’m dead right now. But I’m totally fine. I’m just crying because I’m happy. It’s fine.'”
It was then time for Jenna to head to the vote, which is when she was forced to say goodbye. She admitted, “I’m literally the most heartbroken I’ve ever been in my life. One of the things I processed at Ponderosa was also this tangible phrase of ‘this is all you get.’ This cruel reality. ‘You wanted it all. You wanted so much more. You would have given anything to go another day. Sorry for you. This is all you get.'”
Noting that a visual popped up of the final beach and her unable to get by a wall on the beach that says “this is all you get,” she said something suddenly changed, explaining, “[T]he meaning changes completely. It’s ‘this is all you get. This is all a gift.'”
She added, “And I feel like that is my Survivor experience in a nutshell. It is letting myself be absolutely heartbroken. Maybe some people think it’s ridiculous, but I was absolutely heartbroken and absolutely so immensely grateful at the same time.”
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Jenna Doore Reveals How ‘Survivor’ Helped Her After Her Divorce — ‘Absolutely Heartbroken’ and ‘Immensely Grateful’