Heather Rae El Moussa is looking back on the lessons that have shaped her as she enters a new year of life.
The “Selling Sunset” and HGTV star shared a lengthy Instagram post Tuesday, Sept. 15, offering 39 pieces of advice she would give her 30-year-old self. The list touches on love, motherhood, family, career, personal growth and learning to give herself more grace.
El Moussa Shares Her Lessons
Among her first pieces of advice, El Moussa encouraged her younger self to trust her path and listen to her instincts.
“You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”
She also reminded herself that life unfolds in different stages, writing, “Trust the timeline. There are many chapters in your life.”
Several of her lessons focused on the family she has built. El Moussa is married to fellow real estate personality Tarek El Moussa, and she is a stepmother to his children from his previous marriage to Christina Haack. Heather and Tarek also share a son, Tristan.
“Motherhood humbles you in the best way,” she wrote. “Being a bonus mom taught me love multiplies. It doesn’t divide.”
She also gave a special nod to her son, writing, “Tristan taught me what calm in the chaos really means.”
Her advice extended beyond parenting. El Moussa encouraged herself to rest without guilt, stop comparing herself to others and establish boundaries.
“Rest is productive,” she wrote. “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
She also reminded herself that saying no does not require an explanation, writing, “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your “no.””
El Moussa reflected on her career, too, emphasizing that professional accomplishments do not determine a person’s value.
“Your career doesn’t define your worth,” she wrote. She also encouraged herself to remain open to new opportunities, adding, “You can start a new business at any age.”
Other lessons were more playful, including, “Take the trip. Wear the outfit. Eat the cake,” and, “Dance in the kitchen. Always.”
She Turns 39 on Wednesday
As her list continued, El Moussa acknowledged that growth can be difficult and that starting over is sometimes necessary.
“Growth is uncomfortable. Lean in anyway,” she noted.
And also, “You don’t need permission to start over.”
She also urged herself to be kinder to the person she was in the past and to appreciate how far she has come.
“Forgive yourself for the years you didn’t know better. They were lessons.”
The final entries centered on self-love, relationships and embracing change. El Moussa wrote, “Success looks different at every age. Let it evolve,” before ending with a celebration of her 39th year.
“Here’s to 39, feeling more like myself than ever.”
The birthday reflection comes after El Moussa celebrated her upcoming milestone with Tarek, Haack and Haack’s boyfriend, Chris Larocca, during a group getaway to California’s wine country.
The two couples traveled to Napa ahead of El Moussa’s birthday, enjoying wine tastings, dinner and time together. Sharing photos and videos from the trip Saturday, Sept. 12, El Moussa joked about the festivities in her caption.
“39 came in hot and slightly buzzed!”
She also shared a group selfie after dinner at Bottega Napa in Yountville, adding, “Clearly we were feeling the wine.”
El Moussa’s actual birthday is Wednesday, Sept. 16.
