Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman may have separated nearly a decade ago, but their marriage is not officially ending anytime soon.
In a new cover interview with AARP Magazine, DeVito revealed that he and Perlman plan to remain married despite separating in 2017. The 81-year-old actor explained that they have maintained a close relationship built around their children, grandchildren and the life they created together.
DeVito said he and Perlman still talk daily and regularly spend time together, including weekly meals at her home.
“We’re always over at her house,” he said. “We see the grandchildren together, that kind of stuff. So that’s a good relationship.”
Rather than focusing on their separation, DeVito emphasized the importance of having dependable loved ones who remain present through every stage of life. He said family and longtime friends have given him the confidence to take risks throughout his career.
“Because of them, I always had a feeling that no matter what I was doing, I could do it, no holds barred,” he said.
How Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman Fell in Love
DeVito also looked back on the beginning of his relationship with Perlman, whom he met in the early 1970s after she attended one of his off-Broadway performances.
The pair quickly connected over their shared interests in theater and film. They spent their early years together attending movies and creating short films of their own, according to AARP.
“We hit it off,” DeVito recalled. “We liked off-Broadway stuff. We went to movies all the time. We made little movies together, short films. We had a lot in common, and we fell in love.”
He jokingly described their dynamic as “a nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn and an Italian from New Jersey,” adding, “I cooked, and she ate.”
Perlman moved in with DeVito shortly after they met, and the couple married in 1982. They later welcomed three children: Lucy, Grace and Jacob.
Their family also became connected through their careers. DeVito and Perlman famously played Harry and Zinnia Wormwood in the 1996 movie “Matilda,” while Lucy and Jacob later followed their parents into entertainment. The siblings now help run Jersey Films 2nd Avenue, the successor to DeVito’s original production company. Grace pursued a career as an artist.
Family Remains at the Center of Their Relationship
DeVito and Perlman first separated in 2012 after 30 years of marriage. They later reconciled before separating again in 2017.
Although the two live separately, Perlman has also made it clear that divorce has never been the goal. During a 2019 appearance on “Watch What Happens Live,” she said they still saw each other often and explained that their relationship became more peaceful after the separation.
“It’s much better because all of the tense stuff is gone,” she said, according to Us Weekly. Perlman added that she and DeVito had “always loved each other” and continued to agree on the issues that mattered most, especially when it came to their children.
In 2023, Perlman acknowledged on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “Wiser Than Me” podcast that reaching their current arrangement took time. She said the separation was “very difficult at first,” but the former couple eventually developed a “pretty decent understanding and relationship with each other.”
Today, DeVito’s bond with his children and grandchildren remains a major source of joy. He told AARP that an early morning Zoom call with his 1-year-old grandson eating oatmeal was enough to get him out of bed.
For DeVito, their unconventional marriage appears to work because the family remains connected and supportive, regardless of the couple’s romantic status.
“No matter what happens in your life, the most important thing is having family and friends,” he said, “reliable people in our lives who we can talk to, who we can open up to, who we can rely on to be there. I’m very fortunate.”
