Nothing beats a comeback from Dorothy Zbornak on “The Golden Girls,” which can now be seen on the Hallmark Channel. Bea Arthur played the role masterfully. Dorothy had dry wit, razor-sharp sarcasm, and zero tolerance for nonsense, which made her endlessly quotable. She was intelligent and brutally honest, which is exactly why her lines still hit so hard today. We have compiled 10 quotes that prove Dorothy wasn’t just funny, she was iconic.
1. “I could vomit just looking at you.”
It was a love-hate relationship between Dorothy and her ex-husband, Stan. For Dorothy, it tended to land more on the hate side of things, as seen by the comment above that she made to him.
2. “Her mother was a slut, too.”
Something about the line and how deadpan she was, but she delivered it with perfection. Blanche was talking about flirting and being from the South, so it’s part of her heritage. Insert the one-liner from Dorothy!
3. “Go hug a landmine.”
Again, Dorothy wasn’t a fan of her ex-husband. However, his charming brother showed up for an episode of “The Golden Girls.” She greeted the brother kindly, so Stan was expecting the same. Her response wasn’t as kind!
RELATED: Find Blanche’s best quotes from ‘The Golden Girls’ here.
4. “Better than anyone I know.”
One of the best comebacks from Dorothy came in this moment. Rose asked if she could ask a dumb question, and Dorothy came up with the most brutal comeback ever.
5. “We have Maalox and Estrogen.”
The girls were robbed. Rose thinks the robbers may have been looking for drugs, to which Dorothy delivers this epic response. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. Who’s going to rob four old women when they’re looking for drugs?
6. “Right now, I’d be surprised if you could cut it off.”
Dorothy had the ability to deliver an insult, yet still get a laugh. This scene had Blanche trying to slip into her bikini from the year before. When asking the other ladies if she could still pull it off, Dorothy delivered this iconic clapback.
RELATED: Find Rose’s best quotes from ‘The Golden Girls’ here.
7. “Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. It’s got more miles on it than the Spirit of St. Louis.”
I feel like sometimes the other girls were just asking for it. Blanche asked what she should do with her old bed, so Dorothy told it like it is, which is too be expected, right?
8. “Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story!”
I mean, she was there being a friend. Listening to Blanche’s story, but enough is enough, right?
9. “No, I will not have a nice day.”
Sometimes Dorothy was told to do something, and she didn’t take it well. Even if it was from someone on the phone telling her to have a nice day!
RELATED: Find Sophia’s best quotes from ‘The Golden Girls’ here.
10. “Rose… get professional help.”
When you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough. Most people would bite their tongue and walk away. Dorothy Zbornak was not “most people.”
What are your favorite quotes from Dorothy Zbornak from “The Golden Girls”?
