Penn Badgley’s wife, Domino Kirke, has a message for anyone who still blames her for her husband’s decision to limit intimate scenes in his acting work. “Get over it,” she said in a recent social media post.
Badgley and Kirke have been married since 2017 and recently expanded their family with the arrival of their twin boys in 2025.
On Sept. 28, Kirke addressed another long-running subject in an Instagram video, revealing that she still receives DMs about Badgley’s comments from 2023 concerning intimate scenes.
Kirke insisted that the decision was his, not hers, and said he made it for himself and his mental health. She also said she was “super happy” and “very proud” of him for setting the boundary, describing it as a form of “relational hygiene,” according to People.
Why Penn Badgley Really Wanted to Cut Back on Intimate Scenes
The controversy began in February 2023 when Badgley discussed the subject on his “Podcrushed” podcast. During production of the fourth season of “You,” Badgley said he approached series creator Sera Gamble and asked whether he could stop filming intimacy scenes altogether.
His ideal, he explained, would have been to go from “100 to zero.” However, Badgley also recognized that sexuality was built into the premise of “You” and that he had signed a contract to play Joe Goldberg. His practical question therefore became how much the show could reduce those scenes.
Badgley cited his marriage as one factor, saying fidelity was important to him. He also questioned whether he wanted to continue down a career path where he was repeatedly cast as a romantic lead. Entertainment Weekly reported that Gamble responded positively and the show significantly reduced the intimate material in Season 4.
His reasoning was also broader than some of the initial headlines suggested.
Weeks later, Badgley told British GQ that the reaction to his comments had been “blown out of proportion.” He explained that his concerns also involved the culture surrounding the production of intimate scenes and Hollywood’s history of exploitation and abuse.
Domino Kirke Says the Decision Was About More Than Their Marriage
Kirke’s new comments add another layer to what motivated her husband. The singer and full-spectrum doula, who is a co-founder of Carriage House Birth, said Badgley made the choice for his mental health after spending most of his life working in entertainment.
“After working in the industry since he was just 12 years old, believe me, it was time,” she wrote in her Instagram caption, according to People. Kirke also drew a comparison between Badgley’s experience as an entertainer and her own work as a caregiver.
She argued that caregivers can become accustomed to allowing other people to cross their boundaries in the name of being accommodating. In her view, actors can face a similar pressure to remain agreeable and do what is expected of them.
Kirke also noted that audiences had grown accustomed to seeing her husband play particular kinds of characters, especially after his roles in “Gossip Girl” and “You.” “The characters that my husband has played over the years, people have come to expect that he will continue to play that guy,” she said.
For Kirke, his decision was therefore less about her setting rules for their marriage and more about Badgley deciding which boundaries he wanted for himself.
Badgley Later Relaxed the Boundary for ‘You’ Season 5
Badgley’s preference for fewer intimate scenes was never completely inflexible. When “You” returned for its fifth and final season in April 2025, the actor told People that he had to reconsider his earlier position because the story required Joe Goldberg to return to his role as a seductive romantic figure.
“I had to throw that out the window,” he said of the earlier boundary. Badgley explained that his preference remained to film as little intimate material as possible, but he was willing to do it when necessary for the show. His condition was that those moments should be “vital,” “important” and “deliberate.”
That distinction is important because Badgley’s 2023 remarks were sometimes interpreted as a permanent refusal to film intimate scenes. In practice, he established a preference, negotiated a substantial reduction and later adjusted when he and the creative team believed the material served the final season.
Kirke Says Setting the Boundary Did Not Hurt His Career
Kirke ended her Sept. 28 post by challenging another assumption surrounding her husband’s decision: that setting firmer limits could damage his career. “Guess what,” she wrote. “He hasn’t lost fans and he’s still getting hired!”
There is plenty of current evidence that Badgley remains busy after “You.” He is set to star opposite Meghann Fahy in the Prime Video romantic comedy “You Deserve Each Other,” which EntertainmentNow previously covered.
More recently, EntertainmentNow reported that Badgley will lead Amazon MGM Studios’ upcoming dark comedy murder-mystery series “Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone”. He also has the thriller “NDA,” alongside Rachel Zegler, among his post-“You” projects.
For Kirke, those opportunities reinforce the point she wants people messaging her to understand: Badgley made the decision about his boundaries himself, and she does not want to continue being blamed for it three years later.
